I would like to see those who will come to my funeral to chase girls – Late Kwabena Boadu

Kwabena Boadu, the late aide to the New Patriotic Party’s Veep candidate Dr. Mahamudu Bawumia had some interesting thoughts on death.

Boadu died in his hotel room in Wa on Thursday November 24, 2016 while on the campaign trail.

In a note written about death and published on his Facebook page in 2010, Boadu jokingly calls out his friends who would like to come to his funeral to chase girls.

He however shared some deep thoughts worth reading.



DEATH! (SPECIALLY MADE FOR EVERYONE SPECIAL)

November 5, 2010 at 6:59 p.m

DEATH

I most often think about death! Yeah I do, it’s one of my pastimes, thinking about death! I don’t know about you but unlike me, I know many who are just scared to hear the word – ‘death’! I don’t know why though, maybe it’s because you yourself know you would end up in hell and so don’t want to hear of the event which would forward you to your final destination; maybe it’s because you think this world is good that you don’t want to imagine not being part of it or maybe you are afraid because others are afraid of it.

But well whether you like it or not, very soon you would die! Hahahahahaha! Well sorry but this isn’t so funny for some of you but it is the truth; you would die soon! And please don’t stop reading at this point because that won’t prevent you from death! Anyway, sorry if I got you scared but why should we be scared of death? It’s something which would happen to everyone, no one can escape it so why should we be scared of it?

I think about death for many reasons. First of all, I think about the death of my family members and friends like you. I think about all the good times and experiences I have had with some of you and think about the near future when you would not be around or when my family would not be around.

I think and fantasize about how I would be informed of your death and how I would react; for some of you, I know other friends would post – Rest In Peace on your Facebook walls and that is only when I would realize that you would no longer be there to chat with or no longer there to comment on my status or like it!

For others especially those who are close to me, I know that it would be a sudden phone call in the night or very early morning, which would break the news to me of your death; and it would be only then that I would realize how you would no longer be there to answer my call and how I can no longer send messages to you and wonder if I should delete your contact or if I should keep it as a living memory of the sort of friend you were. Huh! My heart is beginning to get heavy! But truly, I think about all these things.

Most importantly too, I fantasize about the one-week anniversary of your death and especially your funeral and how I would come and display ad give a heavy donation which would leave everyone bemused. I imagine the sort of cloth I would come in and the convoy of cars which would convey me there and how I would be weeping when you are finally lowered 6 feet under the ground and when you are covered with earth with the Preacher man saying ‘dust to dust’ and all the kind of things they say!

So yes, I think about your death and try to get myself prepared for it! I even think about the posts I would make on facebook about your death; well sorry if I have finished planning your death, burial and funeral but I can’t really stop myself from doing it. Am sure by now, most of you would have stopped asking the question – ‘is he normal?’ to saying ‘he is not correct’!

Well, I also think about my death! As someone who has had a brace with death on a few occasions, I have come to realize that I can be called anytime; so I think a lot about my own death! I think about how shocked some of you would be when news reaches you of my death at a young age of 96-105; how some of you would weep uncontrollably and how some of you would wish you even had the opportunity of exchanging your life for me. I know! I know many of you would even want to die so you can join me in death too, after all, the things I did to you in life.

I know that many of you wouldn’t believe it until you see me being lowered into my own specially built mausoleum after I have been embalmed which would mean that unlike you, my body would stay for years without getting rotten; thus denying the termites the luxury of having me for food; the good thing is that with you around, the termites won’t really starve!

I think about how grand my funeral would be! In fact, if anyone denies me a grand funeral, that person won’t have it easy at all! I would deal with that person well well. I think about all the announcements that would be made on CNN, BBC and all and the big Bill Boards which would be erected in my honor!

But I also think about one thing, I think about staging my death before death does it himself. I want to stage my death one of these days; so anytime you hear about it be careful; I guess I have to take lessons from Amina.

I want to stage my death so that I can see the reactions of all of you! And what would be said about me; I want to see for my eyes how indifferent people would be to the news of my death; this brings me to a point. I have close to 630 friends on Facebook, yesterday was my birthday and only 150 wished me a happy Birthday, so where were all the other 480? After all, I have done for them?

How ungrateful can people be; just saying happy birthday is even difficult for them! So you see, even with my life, people are still able to show me such ingratitude, how much more when I die? That’s why I want to stage my death so that I can scare one by one those who show less concern on the issue of the death by not only revealing myself to them at odd places and times but also giving them a hot chase! That way, they would not only be scared but I would have left a lasting legacy in their minds! They would hardly forget me for a full day!

Again, I want to stage my death; so that I can see how people would want to come ad display at my funeral! Those who never wanted to speak to me would even come ad behave like they were the best of friends with me; what hypocrisy?

I would want to see those who would come to my funeral to chase girls; I can imagine how insensitive people can be! I would want to see those who would come there specifically to eat and drink at my family’s expense; and how people would run when I slowly lift myself from the bed on which I have been laid and start chasing people all over!

But the question I mostly ask myself is does one know when it is about getting to his/her death? And how what happens at the exact point of death. I have heard that before one dies, the person would often have dreams where he or she would find him or herself interlacing with dead people and that when you start having those dreams, it means you are about to die.

In order to prevent this, therefore, I have made a very conscious decision not to dream again; so as not to see any dead people! How am I able to do this? Simple, by waking up at hourly or two-hourly intervals during my sleep, I prevent myself from going into a deep sleep that would lead me to dream.

To every rule there is an exception so to prevent myself from seeing the dead people just in case I dream, I keep my brains filled with everything aside dead people! And before I go to bed, I plan the dream I would want to dream just in case I have to dream! With this, I have been able to keep myself from seeing dead people in my dreams.

For those of you who have not done similar things like me, though, I pity you because if you have been having dreams where you see yourself with dead people then please note that very soon, very soon, it will come. I don’t want to scare you anymore!

Again I have heard that few days before you die, you would become very friendly and very good. Two solutions appeared most prudent, when I heard about this; 1. Either I stopped being good and friendly so that death would stay a long way from me; or that I become constantly good and friendly, there would thus be no sudden change in my attitude which would cause death to look in my direction.

With these two solutions, I knew that death would stay far away from me and close to some of you. But choosing not to be good and friendly would mean certain hell for me on the judgment day so I choose the other solution, and that is the reason why I am this good and friendly! That is why all of you wish you had my traits of friendliness and goodness!

Why did I write this note? I don’t even know! But I wanted to thank some special people in my life and special people who have helped me in my life and great people whose friendship I cherish so much! I didn’t want to write it straightforward, as it wouldn’t make it interesting for me; so I decided to write something , and this is what came up!

First on the list of mentions is the woman no woman can take me away from – my mom, Georgina Baffoe and Nana yaa (my kid sister), my Grandmum, my Aunties and Uncles and cousins and all!

Then those great friends I have had who have helped me so much in various points in my life or with whom I have shared or continue to share great moments; it is people like you who make life worth living – in no particular order –

Sammi Awuku, Angela Aheto, Rebecca Delong, Gloria Akpene, Akyena Benjamin, Alla Mensah, Emmanuel Kwasi Afriyie, Christian Kwabena Ansah, Festus Matey, Collins Dakurah, Nyamekye Nkrumah, Kingsley Owusu Anom, Enoch Sarpong, Dorothy Oforiwaa, Heartwill Tamakloe, Festus Owusu (Fela) Ernesto Yeboah, Hannarich Affum, kofi Dzifa Jewel, Mckeown Amponsah, Nelson Awuku, Rebecca Donkor, Edem Amoah, Joseph Amoako Yorke, Aggrey Korsah, Hamza Suhuyini, Emmanuel Peprah, Leticia Aduhene, Richard Boahene, Matthew Fosu Gyeabour, Felix Acheampong, Kwadwo Addo Dankwa, Godfred Boakye, Enoch Agyekum, Fatawu Mohammed, Swala Abubakr, Ernest Brobbey, Eugene Amoah, Sackey Kow Akyen, Josiah Aubin, Muni Montia, Florence Abban, Olivia Jehu Appiah, Egya Kojo Botwe, Charles Dorman, Kobby Gomez, Kwaku Boakye Nimako, Papa Annan Nana adwoa, Nana Fredua ofori Atta, Sam Ellis,Nana poku Sikadwa etc. etc. if I forgot any name I should have mentioned, please note that it wasn’t as a result of malice; it’s due to something which like death is part of every human’s life!

To the friends I have gotten to know because of facebook, you have added much more to my life than I thought I would get by signing on to facebook and you provided every second of my life, with memories I cannot forget! Again in no particular order – Adwoa Ahofedua, Akwasi Afrifa Akoto, Amma Naabia, Eugene Boadi Dankwa, Paa Kwesi, Nana Prempeh Okogyeabour, Nana Poku, Obaayaa Boadi, Patrick Lawmann, Leticia Oforiwaa, Ataa Sombody, Charles Nii Teiko Tagoe, Patriot Faisal, Pap Tee, Giovanni Deal Drain, Lunyamadzo Njulumi, Princess Naa Dedei Daniel Vembera, Jephtah Asare, Kwaku Mensah Jnr., Nelly Kissi, Nii Nai, Olivia Quartey, Kwabena Antwi Boasiako, Chester Ati, Stephen Agbai, Obrempong brako, Matthew Kinsford Baidoo, Nana Kwaku Versace and indeed every friend I have at this moment.

Seriously, am still wondering why I wasted my time doing this! After all, telling you about my thoughts about death and my fantasies about it would not help me understand the mysteries of death better than I do now; it would certainly not help me avoid death and so would it not help you, you would certainly go! So why did I do it? I don’t know! I felt like doing it – But hey, is this not the beauty of Life?

One day when I am no more, you would remember that this guy once made me confused or wanted to; only that I would not be there anymore to try that, I would long be gone! One day when am gone, you would miss me for not being around to write long notes like this and just maybe you would wish you read my notes without complaining that it was too long. That day could be tomorrow, in a months’ time, in a year’s time, in ten years’ time or even just after you read this.

But if you happen to go before I do, I would also remember that I once tried to make this lady confused or that I once tagged this guy in my note; the only snag would be that I would know you are no more and that I cannot tag you in any more notes because you would not be there to read.

That’s life; we need to cherish the life we have and the life of others no matter how confused or depressed and no matter the problems you have because your life and the life of others has a timeline which no one knows. Thank you! I pray we live longer together!