A Welcomed Coup D'etat In Ghana

Why don’t we hand over the reigns of government to the Ghana national football team – The black Stars. This is my proposed government of Ghana

• President: Stephen Appiah: Ghana’s presidency has been reduced to tourism, despite the famous saying: “A rolling stone gathers no moss”. The black stars’ captain was able to achieve so much without roaming aimlessly all over the pitch (=world). Unwarrented presidential travels are taking a large chunk out of the nation’s coffers. Appiah will save us millions.

• Vice-President Richard Kingston: Unlike our current VEEP, the national goalkeeper seems to have some authority when push comes to shove.

• Senior Minister: Samuel Osei Kuffour: No Ghanaian in his right mind knows the rational & responsibility of this ministerial position. We guess the post is given to the oldest minister and that’s why the oldest player on our squad gets the job. Otto Addo was disqualified because he holds dual-nationality [It shows this writer cares about the constitution and has done his background check on a shoestring budget]

• Defense Minister: John Mensah: With our yet-to-be-delivered Chinese-made jets, 19 century Russian-made tanks and ‘Kokompe’-made hunting rifles, Ghana is in a better position to defend herself against ‘football goals’ than an invading force from Togo.

• Local Govt: Shilla Alhassan: As the most regular local player in the midst of foreign-based players, we think it is appropriate to give him the post.

• Foreign Minister: Michael Essien: Ghana’s most recognized player gets more attention in international circles than the incumbent minister, who has failed to outline our independent foreign policy and travels only for the pleasure.

• Energy: Sulley Muntari: The amount of energy burnt by Muntari in the WC matches could light up Accra during our regular power-cuts. He should be able to take care of the countries energy needs. BTW, who is the minister for energy?

• Tourism & Diaspora Affairs: John Paintsil: He has experience with getting the attention of nations with his flag waving antics. Has anybody seen the pathetic “Sights & sounds” advert running on CNN? If that’s all we can do to advertise our nation, then I say give the job to the “flag boy”.

• Finance & Economic Planning: Asamoah Gyan: Like our economy, there is a lot of hype about this player, but the reality is he managed to score a single goal from 100 chances. Anybody who can economize on goals should have high goals for our economy.

• Transport: Mathew Amoah We can’t figure out why Dr. Anane is still at his post…. Same goes for our choice for this position. Aviation, Ports, Harbors & Railways – which are separate ministries under the current administration – will be added to this ministry to make it more meaningful.

• Communication & National Orientation- Addoquaye Pappoe: This leftist sounding ministry is appropriate for the LEFT half backs on our team

To those who say these players are not well educated and do not have the experience, I say, our current government is full of highly educated Ghanaians with past experience in administration at various levels yet they behave as if running a country constitutes traveling, begging, bragging and blaming others for their failures.

The team that President Kufuor once described as self-made and best prepared of his era have turned out to be a dismal failure; an over-hyped, under-prepared, corrupt-ridden, skirt-chasing, excuse-making, tactically muddled, self-delusional shambles.

People say that Kufuor has no plan B, but after 6 years we’ve still not seen his plan A. Now that I’ve presented a plan B, I hope he works on a Plan A or else the footballers will take over