Afia Schwarzenegger, Ken Agyapong & the Ampan Dankwa scenario

“The drums beat and the flutes sang and the spectators held their breath,” Chinua Achebe, in his book Things Fall Apart, described the fiercest fight between Okonkwo and Amalinze, the Cat.

That spectacular Amalinze-Okonkwo banter was years ago. Wondering whether we have had such a hyped bout in Ghana aside the recent Bukum Banku vs. Ayitey Powers’ bouts? You need not look further.

It started with comedienne Afia Schwarzenegger, who doubles as a radio and television personality, hurling missiles of insults at Honourable Kennedy Ohene Agyapong for the latter’s reported attack on President Mahama’s family.

Defending one’s President positively, I must say, is in a good direction. Afia Schwarzenegger started a good course. She wanted to ensure sanity prevailed in our daily politics where one would not go the extent of seeing his or her opponent as an enemy.

However, like a child who drew a beautiful lion but unfortunately added wings, Afia spoilt her ‘lion.’ Lions don’t need wings! Indeed, Afia could have respectfully tamed Mr. Agyapong and reminded him that he bore the title ‘Honourable.’

Mr. Agyapong, when received the barrage of insults and the comedienne calling on him to let Ghanaians know his true source of wealth, did not take it lightly either. Speaking on his Oman FM, which Afia said she would never tune in to, the Honourable Member of Parliament did not mince words. He, as well, retaliated calling the K?k??k? host a prostitute.

This brouhaha between the two has generated a heated debate among a section of Ghanaians. Both sides of the divide either praised or bashed the fighters. Recently on Radio Ghana’s News Commentary, a social commentator bashed Mr. Agyapong for not acting as an Honourable. The commentator, again, called on Parliament to discipline their colleague for stooping so low.

While the bashing and praising went on, the supporters of both Mr. Agyapong and Afia hailed them respectively. They did not only hail but scored their respective candidate with high marks and declared their fighter winner of the verbal battle.

If an egg falls on a stone or a stone falls on an egg, our elders say, the result is the same. Whether it was Mr. Agyapong who first insulted President Mahama and his family or it was Afia Schwarzenegger who first insulted Mr. Agyapong, both sides did not help matters.

Without fear or favour, I condemn the two for not acting professionally. However, I will not ‘put it to’ Mr. Agyapong for not doing what is expected of Honourable Members of Parliament.

In one of Nana Kwame Ampadu’s songs titled “Ampan Dankwa” – where the title refers to the bat, the legendary highlife musician told an intriguing story in the animal kingdom.

The animals had met for a meeting. Mr. Squirrel, the Secretary, began the meeting by marking his register. When it got to the turn of Ampan Dankwa, the bat, there was silence. Squirrel mentioned the name over and over again. It was obvious Ampan Dankwa could not attend the meeting.

It was later discovered that Ampan Dankwa was in the belly of the Leopard, after a surgical operation. The case appeared before Judge Rabbit to rule on why Leopard had breached an established law that called for animals to live in peace without one eating the other as food.

The court case was tensed. Very! Perhaps, comparable to the NPP-NDC Supreme Court battle. Lawyers for both Ampan Dankwa and Leopard argued vehemently. But… the Leopard’s lawyer’s interpretation of the law had Judge Rabbit setting Leopard free.

“Mr. Judge,” started Leopard’s lawyer, “it is true the laws say one animal should not pounce on the other as its prey. However, there is no clause that says that because of this law one could use the mouth of his/her friend as a playing ground.”

Leopard had had his mouth opened while sleeping. Ampan Dankwa, instead of waking him up to ask for them to play, decided to rather play in the mouth of the former.

Nana Ampadu recounts that Judge Rabbit was well convinced and eventually set Leopard free. He [Nana Ampadu] commenting on the animals’ story cautioned the public not to take things for granted.

It is true Members of Parliament must command respect by first respecting themselves. However, Mr. Agyapong could not when Afia Schwarzenegger had virtually been given the license for abusive words to freely leave her mouth as milk freely drops from a lactating mother’s breasts.

When it was alleged that musician Becca had had an affair with one of the Black Stars’ players in Brazil, Afia Schwarzenegger had the guts to call the former names. As a matter of fact, even if Becca indeed had that affair and it did not contradict any of our laws… then no one had the right to fight her. After all, Afia Schwarzenegger is not a ‘moral police’.

In another breath, Afia Schwarzenegger has fought with her former boss Delay. That did not end there. She has battled Bishop Obinim and the boxing stars, Bukum Banku and Ayitey Powers.

Afia Schwarzenegger may be right in some of these instances but I think her approach has not been the best. In fighting Mr. Agyapong over his derogatory words fired at the President, one is tempted to ask if what she says of the president herself is not derogatory enough. Don’t get me wrong. I am not blindly justifying Mr. Agyapong’s act.

On her show dubbed K?k??k? on UTV, she is known for flaunting herself as the President’s girlfriend among other risqué jokes. So… when the Despite Group and Okay FM issued a press statement on February 9, 2016, to apologise to Mr. Agyapong and Ghanaians for their presenter’s words, I laughed. Here in Ghana, we do unnecessary things with careless abundance and later apologise.

Indeed, the Despite Group should have long tamed its lioness. It was rather unfortunate they had to wait for Mr. Agyapong to act as the Leopard in Nana Ampadu’s story to do the taming.

How the media has raised Afia Schwarzenegger is not any different from how they did to Nana Aba Anamoah, formerly of TV3. TV3 revered her so much that Nana Aba insulting Viasat 1 on live broadcast was brushed under the carpet.

In my article on the ‘Nana Aba was there’ titled “My view: Of Nana Aba Anamoah & TV3,” I blasted TV3 for poor-parenting the young woman. I, as well, gave an advice to others especially loud-mouth media personalities to take a caution from the Nana Abas.

That advice was summed up in an Igbo proverb which says that a person whose father received a bullet in the head, uses an iron pot as a helmet. The media must also be warned to desist from hipping uncultured mouths.

The writer is a journalist and a cultural activist.

Email: nehusthan4@yahoo.com
Twitter: @Aniwaba
Instagram: aniwaba