Boti Falls

Shortly after a downpour, one can easily slip and fall, especially in a marshy area. Hence, the rate of injuries recorded in the rainy season skyrockets every year (Shukla et al., 2018). Even so, one can avoid tumbling down if he takes extra pain to plod cautiously. Meanwhile, there is another kind of fall that can occur at any time of the year, and that is what happened to Boti.

Boti fell head over heels in love with Ponmpon. He quickly proposed to his crush, who readily accepted. Boti's passion for her gave birth to intimacy instantly. They had crazy sex and longed for each other. In order to enjoy a lifelong episode of these butterflies, Boti speedily married Ponmpon.

Not long, Boti was surprised to realize that his excitement for Ponmpon has dwindled drastically. Gradually, the string of attachment between the two became lifeless. In frustration and disappointment, they blamed each other. The only solution they had on their table was to split up, and so they did.

This divorce adds up to the countless number of annulments out there. I wish Boti had "entered" into love instead of "falling" in love. As Eric Thoennes will say, using a verb like "fall" to portray one's entry into something as profound as a loving relationship belittles what love really is. It is as though the person is overtaken by a force outside his control (Hamner, et al., p. 45, 2018). This headless and blinding posture is unfortunate.

If psychologist Robert Sternberg were to analyze Boti and Ponmpon's marital fall, I'm sure he will point out that commitment was lacking. For Sternberg, consummate love requires three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy is the euphoria of closeness. Passion consists of the ardour of enthusiasm and often involves an intense physical and emotional dynamic.

Commitment, which Boti and Ponmpon lacked, is the purposeful decision to remain devoted to someone. If Boti and his wife were committed to each other, their unwavering faithfulness could have oriented in them a godly intimacy to fan their passion. This is not to say commitment is all that is needed because commitment without intimacy or passion is empty love.

I suggest that all lovers contend for the aforementioned three components of exquisite love. I believe in the radical efficacy of these virtues because they characterize the eternal love of God: he is intimate (2 Pet. 1:4), passionate (Zeph. 3:17), and committed (Rom. 5:8).

Even though Boti fell in love, we can stand up in love if we add a commitment to our passionate intimacy with our partners before and after marriage.

Enjoy God's Grace!
Amen!