Car 'stealers:' Politicians should learn from President Limann

*AKADU N. MENSEMA [email protected]

**Akadu N. Mensema is every suffering, marginalized, and benighted Ghanaian who is ardently looking for change and renewal in President Akufo-Addo and Vice President Bawumia’s Ghana. Let us speak truth to the killers of our postcolonial aspirations, optimism, and progress. Truth is bitter, but heals!

Hmm! Aging and poor Limann had one car He never stole or demanded for a state car The state never gave him a car Saintly Junior Jesus never gave Limann a car Limann had one car His aging and poor 404 Peugeot Aging 404 Decrepit 404 Oh! And at high noon Sweating bystanders pushed Limann’s 404 Pushed hard to jump-start it And honorable Limann looked on And his car died And Limann died

The “STEALERS” The PEN-ARMED ROBBERS Think about car They don’t care about Decaying hospitals Collapsing schools Dilapidated roads Putrefying environment Chinese-galamsyed watersheds, rivers, forests, and farmlands Impoverished jobless youth

The “STEALERS” The PEN-ARMED ROBBERS They are the KILLERS OF THE DREAM Of the postcolonial dream Of our collective dream They are vultures worse than white imperialists They are vultures who eat their own carcasses They steal, pilfer, poach, appropriate, swipe, burgle, rob, brand cars They are CRAFTY PEN-ARMED ROBBERS They steal, pilfer, poach, appropriate, swipe, burgle, rob, brand cars Special Cars for market to buy diapers Special Cars for saloon to buy fake hair for girlfriends Special Cars to rent porno for underage girls Special Cars to purchase cocaine in Tudu Special Cars for concubines to visit their home-towns Special Cars to take dada mma to expensive schools Special Cars to go to the beach Special Cars to go to KFC Special Cars to pick up prostitutes Special Cars to buy alcohol

The Mulatto preacher He preached to and for all Ghanaians His theology of equality Ah Holier than thou chapters Chapter One and Verse One on Cars And he quoted “ONE GHANAIAN ONE CAR TYRE” He closed Chapter One and Verse One He requested for 16 cars Today he owns a fleet of posh cars

The owner of Hotel Tetteh Kwasi He never liked Kejetia Chrysler He liked Americano Chrysler He liked 10 Americano Chrysler Different colours Different engines Different seats

The Seer of SADDENED Akomfem that flew to Burkina He never liked American tractors Ha haaa! He received a gift of American Fiord via Burkina Yes Burkina Pito on wheels Ah the Akomfem came along in Burkina Fiord Burkina Fiord is not made in Burkina

In Ghana Na life be car Na sun be car Na moon be car Na rain be car Air too dem de call am car Na bus be car Na van be car Na articulator be car Na airplane be car Na train be car Na boat be car Na canoe be car In Ghana na life be car oh

Self-appointed prophets want car We pay tithes with our stolen money Political party executives want car We help the misappropriate state funds Vice Chancellors want car We engage in thievery tender processes Chiefs who never work want car We promise to vote for every political party

Oh Ghanaians na everything be car, car Car be status symbol Car be for state thieves Car be for pen-armed robbers Car be for chopping university girls

Na government policy be car Our governments dey use their first three months To investigate car tyres in Fante Nyankumasi To investigate car engines in Osu Alata To investigate car break-pads in Anloga To investigate car bolts in politicians pants To investigate car corpse in Mills’ Osu Castle To investigate engine oil in Flag staff House workers’ mouths

Officials claim they need 4-wheeled cars To overcome potholes they created The MPs claim they need $50,000 cars To find where their constituencies are located Retirees claim cars to stay away from work

Our social standing is based on cars Our wealth is defined by cars and cars Ah! The latest BMW We love the latest Mercedes Ah! By any crooked means Ah we call one THE RANGE Ah! That is Range ranging for respect And Hummer to hammer our potholes

Retirement policies on cars But school buildings are collapsing Police no get state cars for dem work Border Guards no get state cars for dem work Prisons no get state cars for dem work Fire Service no get state cars for dem work Hospitals no get ambulances for dem work

The thievery elites have a fleet of state-loaned/owned cars Na wa oh, cocoa farmers no dey get wheelbarrows Teachers no have bicycles Nurses no dey have motor-bikes

Cars oh cars cars oh cars oh cars Our cacophony of car progress Deceit of democratic equity It is all about Car-Crazy leaders Lording it over Car-Crazy masses