Dumb Elephants

“In Africa, you don’t dare the incumbent government” . – Joe Aboagye Debrah Esq.

It’s the day before the May Day. It’s a slow client day. The previous night has been my most traumatic in years. I wish I could tell you my ordeal last night. I thank God for the life of Antie Maggie, Tobash, Kofi, Adwoa, Kwasi Pee and Stroller. It was a hell of a bad night but we all survived. Jah be praised! May Yeshua Amashua Himself, grant the strength to go on. Amen!!!

So I am back in the office. We have squeezed and staff have been paid. The traffic looks frightening so I shut my door at 5.24pm and spread out on the green carpet. I am seriously tired from yester night’s traumatic events and need a little nap to rejuvenate. Why did I keep my radio on? Locked onto 94.7, Asempa FM. There was Okomfo Bobie at it again. Kobby is battling an elephant called Omane Wadie (hope I got the name right). Just as I am drifting off, enter Tony Aidoo! He calls into the program and takes on this elephant that had entered the china shop and was basically knocking all the fine china into bits. Tony Aidoo simply tells this elephant that he has been libeling him for sometime on air and he was just calling to advise him to desist from that action. The elephant is subdued but tries a last effort to stake his case. The elephant is hit with a tranquiliser from Tony Aidoo and is deflated. "Osono ada ayaya!". “One more word on the libel from you and I will meet you in court”, booms Tony. Who says all elephants are dumb? This elephant in the studio gets the drift and diverts from a head on collision. Libel case avoided! Tony 1, Elephant Wadie 0!

How can I continue my beauty sleep after this. Am laughing my head off. If all Ghanaians, on the entire political divide, are like Tony Aidoo in terms of defending their integrity, we will save ourselves a little of the shameless infringement of the rights of others on radio each and every time elephants and umbrellas gather. And these days, it begins in the morning and ends late at night, every day of the week!!!

So who would tell my people that in Africa, you do not dare the incumbent government and live to tell the tale. The elephant is playing dumb and I cannot understand the rationale. The manner in which the elephant has handled its return to the bush leaves a lot to be desired particularly having regard to its own interests. I have told everyone who would listen that the elephant should convene another service at the Independence Square to thank Yeshua Amashua for Uncle Fiifi. After eight years of domestication, life in the bush certainly cannot be easy. However, whoever is telling the elephant to continue to say all those deeply uncomplimentary things about the Umbrella and especially Uncle Fiifi and his government at this time and in such a brazen manner is simply put, playing dumb. Truth be told, some elephants have sinned and will fall short. The earlier the elephant stops trying to use its bulky bum to shield all the sinners, the better for them. If you have a policy that clearly states that cars not older than two years cannot be sold, then when a less than two year old car is sold to anyone on tenuous valuations, it is near impossible to defend. Worse, it is dumb to dare the government on such an issue. Please, my people, 100 days of mourning is enough. All elephants should get used to the fact that power has shifted from the elephant to the Umbrella. Uncle Fiifi lives in the Castle. Uncle Fiifi is President of Ghana. Uncle Fiifi is His Excellency!!! The Nearly Man is not!

The irony of the whole situation is that I have a feeling the Nearly Man would have fixed his own people too. I know him enough to state that he will not suffer such brazen breaches of the law. That’s the difference with Yewura. Yewura knew, methinks. If he did not, Agya Mpiani knew. Was a nice plan. But it was a plan that could only work if the Nearly Man won. If you ask me, I think some of them deserve the sleepless nights defending vehicles. Yeshua is punishing them for the half-hearted efforts at getting the post for the Nearly Man. Sins have been committed. Lawyers, bankers, economists, architects, valuers, et al. To the last man, all the elephants knew the law was being breached but this is Africa. When you are as clean as snow and such gravy is being shared, it takes Yeshua Amashua to retain your integrity. Sometimes we should not blame them too much. How do you come home to tell your manager that Agya Mpiani offered me a 2008 model Peugeot 607 for the price of a 1986 Opel Kadett and for the love of Ama Ghana, I refused. You would be roasted. Okay, so you bought into the booty. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as planned. As soon as Uncle Fiifi won, you should have known that these things will unravel. What you do is to send a high powered team to Uncle Fiifi and beg indoors, but negotiate outdoors, that you should be allowed to take some of them away. What do you expect Uncle Fiifi to do. The very same people who have breached basic principles set by them, walk away with assets. Then they call press conference s to call you King of Gangsters etc. They will say that you cannot even make provision for persons in government. Where is the money in these crunchy times to get new cars for Pato & Co.? It’s just a dumb thing to pick a fight with the government over this BECAUSE YOU CANNOT WIN, PERIOD!!! Thank God for the Ghanaian. The elephant said it had all the money in the world, had its own houses and cars. Why the same elephants will be fighting over cars in 2009 baffles me. To the extent that people are ready to go live on radio to the world that they will shoot anyone who dares come for … a car?

A word to the elephant! Stop playing dumb! Accept the fact that Uncle Fiifi reigns. Criticise but please choose your fights. Never turn Uncle Fiifi into your enemy. If you do, I will consider you dumber than me. If Uncle Fiifi perceives you as enemies of progress and that all you are up to is mischief, you are toast. You know why? Loads of sins have been committed. If Uncle Fiifi gets fixated on you, he will be worse than Papa Jay for you. Wake up and know that your worst nightmares have come true. The Umbrella rules. Stop being petty. Support Uncle Fiifi when you can. Criticise when you must. That’s when you build credibility with the people of this country. Start working on making the people think well of you. So that when they come for you as they would, we will think about putting in a word for you. “Bo ne nsuma”! If you burn all the goodwill now, who would demonstrate for you when you heading to the Fast Track Courts?

Me nkrofo, think about this: Put all the so-called leaders of this country on a plane and send them to the UK or US or any other such country where every son of man has real rights. Take them to court. Charge them with all the crimes we want to charge them with but are impotent to do here in Ogyakrom. Apply not UK or US Law. Apply Ghanaian law. How many of them will come back to tell us the tale on Bobie’s show?

We are playing dumb on the road to Utopia!

Breda Osimi www.osimidiaries.blogspot.com