Letter From The President: Short Track Justice

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,
you are well aware of the fact that Mr. Binbag has been trying so hard to be a torn in my flesh ever since I came to sit on the Black Star Stool. Take the last time I went to parliament for example. After delivering my well-thought out message on the poor state of the nation, Mr. Binbag stood up and said that my message was “inconsiderate”. I was shocked by his pronouncement and I quickly had to skim through my speech just to be sure I had not said any thing inconsiderate – like ordering identification haircuts for all the minor lawmakers who constantly interrupted my delivery. I never understood why he referred to my speech as inconsiderate until just a few days ago. While taking a stroll through the Castle Gardens I couldn’t help but think about the near financial loss I had caused to the state by pumping huge sums of money to renovate the presidential living quarters only for me to realize that the Castle is too small for my family.