Mahama & Nana Addo ‘grilled’ by Justice Atugubi

Atugubi: And you John Mahama,l have the power now to change your sleeping place. Today,l will show you who really has power in this country
JM: Your Lordship,His Excellency President Atugubi,l............

Atugubi:Ahaaaaaa!!!! You stop right there,ma paddie. Did you just called me His Excellency President Atugubi? Errmm errmmm(clearing his throat),l like that. I feel good about this,it tells me l am now in charge. Hahahaha. Can you please repeat that?
JM:Your Lordship, President of the Panel of Judges

Atugubi:Hold on right there!!! Did you just addressed me without 'His Excellency and President of Ghana',at least for this few minutes that the destiny of this country that has been chopped down by political galamsey lies in my hands?
JM:Respectfully,Mi Lords. I.....

Atugubi:What???? Dont 'respectfully' me. Did you know that Attah Akyea has copyrights over 'Mi Lords'? And did you seek his approval to use it here?. I will deal with you later on,today

Atugubi: Now l want all of you here to join me sing this song. "Nananaaaaaaaa oye winner ooooo,oye winner oooo. Nana Addo is going to succeed ooo. Nanaaaaaaaaaa oooo Nanaaaaaaa. Hey Osono eeh ,hey osono eeh,kukrudu NPP. Mutu ma Nana Akufo Addo,Krukudu. Naaanaaaaaaaaaa ooo Naanaaaaaaaa
Nana: Hahahhahahahha,Mi Lords,agbeeeeenaaa!!! agbeeeenaa!!! Kwakwakwakwa,hhahhahaaahhaha

Atugubi. We don't joke in this court and you can't laugh any how too. You figa say we dey joke for hiaaa?
Nana:Respectfully Mi Lords,l thought you have already passed the verdict and declared me winner.

Atugubi: Passed ver what???
Nana: Dict, verdict l mean.

Atugubi: Im sorry,Nana . We are not Afari John to declare you winner
Nana:Ooooh Mi Lords,then why did you ask us to sing that song?

Atugubi:You don't ask me questions here,l do what l choose to do.
Nana:But Mi Lords, l am also a trained lawyer and according to article 1201 section 6(3),[6(3) which also looks like the judgement that will be declared in some few hours in my favour],it is unconstitution......

Atugubi:Hold on, hold on!!!! Before you add 'nal' to it to make 'unconstitutional',this slangs that you have been speaking,how did you learn it and have you ever lived in Obamaland? We are going for a short break now after which our ruling would be made known.
Nana:You won't even give me the opportunity to respond to your question? You are lucky this is not Atiwa,like l go show you something small.

Atugubi:Nana please calm down. You and l know that the 'Battle is the Lord's'. Addison,what do you have to say?

Addison:(Smiling). My Lords,l will plead with Nana that when he wins the case which l strongly believe so,Tsatsu the Ant should be made my deputy A-G

Tsatsu:Respectfully my Lords,this suggestion by my learned friend is poor in logic and contemptuously pathetic. That was on a lighter side,my Lords

Idun: My Lords,l also want to...
Atugubi:Did l call you?
Idun:No my Lords but l just want to...

Atugubi:Then, sit down. And you Lithur,have you sent for the cat at Dzelukope and has it been roasted with red oil as agreed with all the parties involved in the case to be eaten after the judgement?
Lithur: Im sorry my Lords,my wife Nana Oye said such.. such... such.... errmm an act is against the fundamental human rights of animals.

Atugubi:Your wife is taking this human and animal right thing too far. Aahhh after all the sacrifices of we have made since the petition case started,if we can not get just roasted cat meat to eat,then it is not worth dying for this country
Lithur:Respectfully my Lords,the law is the law ooo

Atugubi:On several occasions here,we have tempered justice with mercy,why can't same be done to us on this cat matter? Mtcheeeeeew

Ayikoi:My Lord,please don't let your temperature rise high again. I can sense the spirit of Gbeshie around here,please calm down my Lords


NB. This is a satirical piece; no contempt charges ,Mi Lords
Written by: Romeo Adzah Dowokpor
Contact him on [email protected]