Musings from afar - I'm a winner

I write not because I want sympathy, far from it. I believe I long won my fight against Breast Cancer. For me it was the battle of the mind and I triumphed. Yes I triumphed! I am writing mainly to share my experiences with the view to inform, educate and encourage. I am not out of the woodworks yet with regards to my diagnosis nor am I perturbed by the prognosis. I live each day positively and celebrate with the many friends and family I am surrounded by.

I completed my first degree as an adult student. But that was not the end of my studies. Having developed an insatiable appetite for learning, I was determined to go as far as possible. I qualified as a Chartered Accountant with the Institute of Chartered Accountants (Ghana). In the year 2011 I decided to enroll for a Master’s degree which I duly completed. I wanted a new challenge (change job) and felt that a master’s degree would give me some kind of leverage. My career, alas, was on an upward trajectory when in 2012 I woke up to this nightmare:

“You have Breast Cancer, you need mastectomy immediately.”

Those were the words of the doctor and they still echo within me each time those words crosses my mind. Tears begun to flow uncontrollably down my cheeks. I felt my world was crumbling under my feet and indeed it was. The days that followed were no better. No matter the words of encouragement from my family and friends, I was inconsolable.

How did it all happen? In February 2008, I felt a sharp pain in one of my breasts and as usual of me I reported it to the hospital the next day. I was asked to do a scan and mammogram. This I duly did. The results basically showed an abnormal tissue in the lower left part of my right breast. The doctor told me not to worry. I believed him and did not seek a second opinion. Interestingly, for a while I did not feel the pain anymore. I latter on experienced intermittent pains in the same breast. Unsettled, I reported to another clinic in 2011 where another doctor examined me. He also did not find anything wrong with me. Interestingly, she made me undergo a number of tests that did not include a mammogram. This was unfortunate because considering my age, my complaint should have rung alarm bells.

One lovely Saturday in 2012, the sun was not scorching and the weather was cool, I decided to go for a walk down the sandy beach with my eldest son. While walking on the beach I suddenly became breathless and weak. My legs sudden felt heavy as though they had been chained to a metal ball. I could hardly take another step. Holding on tight to my son with a firm embrace he held my hand. In a twinkle, he exclaimed “Mummy your hands seem very tiny!”. This immediately confirmed my suspicion. Smitten with fear, I had flash back moment. I quickly recollected a picture I had taken with my colleagues some weeks back. On seeing the picture, I sensed something was not right but I could not pin it down to anything. Anyway, not long after the beach episode the pains in the breast came back. I reported to the hospital knowing something was wrong. The pain seemed not to have subsided. Upon examination something was found in my right breast. The mammogram showed two lumps in the lower middle part of the right breast, one measuring 12.5X 12.1 millimetres and the other 14.1X 9.53 millimetres. Further examination indicated they were not benign. I blamed myself! Why didn’t I seek a second opinion or do further research on it when it all started? Was it a case of having so much confidence in the doctor? The private hospital which I attended in 2008 was the staff hospital. The next question I asked myself was, if I had not been employed in that organisation, would the situation have been different? Perhaps I would have reported at a different hospital and seen a doctor who might have advised me differently or at least referred me to a specialist. Was it a case of medical negligence? Only God knows.

On this occasion I sought a second opinion. To my utter dismay, it turned out I had Breast Cancer. I then had to undergo a series of tests to determine if the cancerous cells had metastasised to other organs. I did a bone marrow scan, kidney and liver examinations thankfully they were not affected.

Prior to the day of the surgery an isotope injection was administered to map out the affected lymph nodes for ancillary clearance. Finally, the surgery was done, recovery was very fast. The specialist’s results revealed two different types of tumor cells in the same breast, sadly, it was a border-line case. For this reason I had to undergo adjuvant therapy. The adjuvant therapy consisted of 3 courses of a combination of FEC fluorouracil (5FU), Epirubicin (E), Cyclophosphamide (C) and Taxotere at 21 days’ intervals. The first course of treatment almost took my life. In addition to other side effects my blood cell counts became very low as a result of this treatment. Therefore, I needed to be given extra doses of G-CSF (Granulocyte-Colony Stimulating Factor) and antibiotics for four days. The oncologist had to reduce the dose of Epirubicin. In her words she said, “you are like a flower that will die if care is not taken”. In the course of the treatment, I lost my body hair completely. Suffered nose bleeding, my palms, feet and nails darkened and ridges formed on my toe nails. Between 7 to 14 days after treatment, my immunity to infections got to its lowest. During those times I avoided public places and would not even see visitors lest I got infected with something. Taxotere treatment was the most painful thing I have ever experienced, not even pangs of labour can compare to the pain I experienced. Fortunately, the days counted down and slowly I recovered from all the side effects. My body hair grew back although not as it originally was.

During the period of my ill health I realised how true the words of King Solomon were; (Ecclesiastes chapter 1:14) “I saw all the works that were done under the sun, and look everything was futile, a chasing after the wind.” All the things that one has gathered under the sun cannot save you. Only the mighty hands of our creator Jehovah can save us. Hoping against hope, I clung on to another scripture for consolation (Isaiah 41:10) “Do not be afraid for I am with you….I will fortify you, yes I will help you……” Yes, true to those biblical words I felt secured in the mighty arms of the Lord my God.

At the time of my ill health, I drew closer to God and confided in Him that I wanted to live to see my children especially the younger one enter university. Today I am a living testimony of an answered prayer.

Last month was Breast Cancer Awareness month. My advice is simple. You know your body better. If you don’t feel well within yourself, see a doctor. If you are not satisfied with the outcome seek a second and even a third opinion. Cancer need not be a death sentence. If it is discovered in time it can even be treated and cured.

Some have suggested that cancer is caused by stress. If that is entirely the case, then I need not be a victim. Others have suggested that it is genetic. If this is entirely true then again I need not be a victim. No one in my family, as far as I can recall, has been diagnosed with this dreadful disease. Could it have been my life style? I am health conscious and try to eat healthy. I can go on and on. The truth is, cancer is not a respecter of persons. I am a Christian and hope that one day when I stand before my Marker I would have the opportunity to ask Him. Why me? I guess it won’t matter then anyway. For now, I have a happy life to live.

My wishes are: to educate many more women to seek early treatment and not to associate the disease with witchcraft as it’s the case in our part of the world; to help women going through treatment to have a positive outlook and manage their appearance (effects of cancer treatment); to help the unfortunate ones who will have to exit this world do so in dignity.

My advice to all is, seek early treatment for any illness and always ask for a second opinion if need be. Exercise frequently, eat more fruits and vegetables and live a happy life.

To the government, all I will say is, it is about time you invest in palliative care. We must live in dignity but equally importantly we must die with dignity.