Please, Help Me Decipher This...

By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D.

He styles himself as Cletus D. Kuunifaa and claims to be affiliated with Long Island University (LIU-Post) in some sort of nondescript capacity that is best known to himself. Once awhile, I come across an article or two with his name appended to them and generally think nothing of the same, if also because he hardly communicates in the sort of standard academic English that I am quite familiar with and write myself. I am not, of course, alluding to what may be quizzically characterized as "academese"; I simply mean grammatically sound English of the kind that can be readily understood by even a reasonably intelligent high school graduate.

I also don't know what kind of Upper-West regional language or dialect that is native to him - Dagbani or Wale? But I am strongly inclined to advising him to first write in whichever Ghanaian language is native to him, or he feels most comfortable communicating in, and then have it translated into English for him by a fellow tribesman/-woman who has at least a passable command of his preferred language of Internet media communication. The last and, perhaps, the only article of his that I have read was much better than this cipher, captioned "Re: Ethnic Nepotism at the Presidency - Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe" (See Modernghana.com 1/25/14) which the poor sourpuss rather shamelessly passes off as a rejoinder. And so rather than take umbrage at his insufferable insolence, I would rather pity this grouchy Mahama lap-dog.

Anyway, the last and only article of this poor excuse of a rejoinder-writer that I read had him earnestly begging President Mahama, who was then visiting the New York Metropolitan Area, to call an emergency meeting of all Ghanaian graduate-school dropouts resident in the United States, particularly those in the Tri-State region (of New York, New Jersey and Connecticut) and solemnly undertake a full-footing of their tuition bills, in exchange for a promise by these shameless freeloaders to promptly return to Ghana shortly after their graduate studies, in order to redeem themselves by serving in the government of the so-called National Democratic Congress (NDC). And so I pretty much appreciate where this "conscientious Mahama pit-bull" is coming from. His academically and morally scandalous rejoinder is about anything but what he claims the same to be.

The first aspect of his rejoinder that had me sprinting for a surgical mask was, of course, the very first sentence which read desultorily as follows: "Not all political jabs must be responded to and[,] indeed, some of them are [incorrigibly?] held opinions fueled and driven by 'penned up' [sic] feelings of frustrations coming from some disgruntled individuals whose number one duty and goal is to disorientate [sic] the President of the Repulic of Ghana from his vision of fixing the mess left over a decade ago."

Indeed, were the critic an honest and progressive-thinking Ghanaian, he would have also promptly added that a full-half of the alleged mess created "over a decade ago" was actually created by Messrs. John Evans Atta-Mills and John Dramani Mahama; and a decade before that, by Messrs. Jerry John Rawlings and, you guessed right, John Evans Atta-Mills! You see, you have to first intimately familiarize yourself with the fact before presuming to shadow box yours truly.

Well, Mister Whatever Your Name Is, for your information, I do not speak for former President John Agyekum-Kufuor and have never been hired and/or employed in any capacity by the man. I have, however, staunchly observed on many occasions the verifiable fact of Mr. Kufuor's having run the most efficient and progressive government in Fourth-Republican Ghana. Would and/or should Mr. Cletus Kuunifaa have qualified for a cabinet appointment in the Kufuor administration, with such abjectly poor communication and critical-thinking skills? Your guess is as good as mine, dear reader.

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*Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D.
Department of English
Nassau Community College of SUNY
Garden City, New York
Jan. 25, 2014
E-mail: [email protected]
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