Opinions of Sunday, 12 August 2012
Columnist: Okoampa-Ahoofe, Kwame
By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr.
Uncle,
I told you
since the shit
started
hitting the fan,
the game
has gotten
groovy all
over again –
now,
cartoon-face
Tsatsu
is at it again,
rascally claiming
you were
the best
and brightest
choice
to pair-trawl
Jato-Patapaa
in Scam Ninety-Six,
when another
slap-around
m’agya tuw
clown
was replaced
with the recently expired
and specially minted
humble one,
not that you were any
cracker-jack clown
or any remarkable clown
at all,
for that matter,
farther be it
for me
to dub or
christen you
an Ekumfi-clown,
which you might
or might not
have been
at all…
I also hear
you were not
even born
in the village
Chief Shit-Bomber
seems to be
so morbidly afraid of,
and perhaps even
too clinically
ashamed
to have you
therein interred;
of course
every earth
is earth,
every earth
was equally
created
by God,
every earth
is sacred
to God –
what is rather
funny,
though,
Uncle Tee,
is the fact that
Cartoon-face
Tsatsu,
the petrol-thief
and criminal convict,
thinks everybody
in the land
cares a whit about
what he thinks about
Chief Shit-Bomber’s
second string –
why does it always
have to be
a m’agya tuw bloke
on second base…
I think
I know,
Uncle,
the Trokosi boys
have it
down pat
their butts –
they think
my big brother
Pee-Kay
is their blind check
to the public dole,
you know
how it goes
with these
fiafito thugs,
and they may not
be too far
from the dope,
for you were
yourself
their prime
sugar lump
for the Hausa Koko
Jato-Patapaa
left by the kitchen sink
in store
for them –
yes,
my big brother
Pee-Kay
is another
sugar lump,
perhaps even
vintage honey
in their tea;
yes,
the Trokosi boys
have acquired
a sweet tea-tooth,
that was what
Jato-Patapaa’s
revolution
was all about;
morbid rascals
that they are,
they are lauding
my big brother
Pee-Kay
for helping
one of their own,
three decades ago,
slip
the SAP
noose-
necklace
of Jay-P
around
our necks –
whether
they succeed,
once more,
remains
to be seen…
petrol-thief
Tsatsu,
he thinks
he is so slick;
I even hear
he sleeps
with one of our
girls,
the tumpata one,
and so he thinks
he has arrived
at the mountain
top…
but we have
already
been there
and done
that,
and we intend
to give him
another sound
butt-kicking
once more…
you just watch
the Manhyia
and Ba-Kwante
boys
team up
to dance
abomaa
once more…
it doesn’t get
any better
than this,
once you also
drop in
the Yendi,
Wa and
Bolga
boys…
there shall be
hell to pay
if these Trokosi brats
refuse to
respect
and play
by the rules
of the game…
8/6/12