Tragic End: Love Trials By Jumping Into A Lagoon

Many Nigerians were shocked and saddened by the story of Adetutu Adedoku, a beautiful woman who jumped out of a taxi in Lagos and into a lagoon. Miss Adedoku was said to be a member of the Department of State Security (DSS). Just recently, the director general praised her for doing a great job.

It was said that Miss Adekoku was arguing with her soon-to-be-husband on the phone when she suddenly killed herself by jumping into the lagoon, just like in a science fiction thriller movie from Hollywood. Several news stories say that Adedokun killed herself because her fiance called off their wedding a few days before it was supposed to happen. Her body sank deep into the thick water of the lagoon, and the Lagos State Emergency Management Agency (LASEMA) and other rescue workers did everything they could to save it from getting lost.

People who pay attention to what's popular on social media have probably seen a beautiful photo of Adetutu. Many people said that even if her fiancé had left her at the altar, "There are a lot of fish in the river," so she would have had a better chance of finding another husband. It seemed like Ms. Adedoku thought so little of herself that she killed herself because her fiancé had changed his mind about marrying her.

In this crazy world or country, it's a sign of intelligence to know how to deal with stress. Why should Miss Adedoku, who is an active, smart officer, put all of her emotions in one direction without giving it a second thought? Everything is possible in this life, and there is no way to know what will happen. We all have to deal with disappointments and tragedies. That's why there's a saying, "Don't pray for an easy life; pray to God to give you the strength to handle the hard times."

For a DSS officer to do his job well, he must be able to work well under stress, have self-discipline, and be able to deal with both outside and inside pressures. He has to keep his wants and feelings in check, which is why they call him a "Intelligent Officer."

He needs to be both emotionally and socially smart. One philosopher said that if you want to do something, you should start at the end and work your way back. He means that you have to make plans and guess in order to figure out if your action will work or not. Khalil Jibran says, "We choose our happiness and our sorrow, even before we experience them." He says that you should think about the end result before you decide to do something. You have to think about the long-term effects of what you do.

In the past, there were not many suicides in Nigeria because many people were happy with little or nothing and put a lot of faith in God and his plan for them. People today are becoming more self-centered and materialistic. When they don't have enough money to do God's will, they say, "To each his own, and God for the rest of us."

Psychiatrists think that a mild mental disorder might not be noticed, which is why they think that thousands of Nigerians are suffering from mental illness without telling anyone because of daily economic and social problems. Because of the social stigma, they often hide it. People walking and talking to themselves in the street is not unusual.

Advice to Every Lovelorn Woman: A woman once said, "Women's wants are like children's." When someone they trust lies to them or leaves them, it hurts because they give their whole hearts to what they love. When a woman is in love, she doesn't listen to advice because she puts all of her hopes in her lover.

When you're angry, it's best to stay quiet and calm. A woman shouldn't make a decision quickly when she's angry. "Everything that starts with anger ends with regret," they say. If Adetutu had let her anger out sooner, she might have found a way out of her situation. Soren Kierkegaard said, "If I could prescribe only one cure for all the problems in the modern world, I would prescribe silence."

Any woman who is getting married needs to get help and advice. Or, even better, she needs to get advice from older housewives who have lived through it all. In the market place, a woman needs to learn from what older women know. No matter how complicated a problem is, there is always a wise woman who knows how to solve it.

Every woman, yes every woman, should read books. Learning never ends. I think you should read a realistic nonfiction book about life in general. She will learn about marriage and a lot of other things about life by reading about them. By reading, she will learn how to think critically and solve problems. People who read are more empathetic and can do better in all parts of life.

If a woman has a good job or comes from money, she will meet a lot of fake suitors. Many men are greedy and look for women who are emotionally weak and want to get married badly.
Every woman should learn to take things slowly and wait for the right person. A woman shouldn't give all of her trust to a new lover all at once. "Be slow to fall into a friendship," says one expert. "Give each other time to grow and get to know each other well." This will help you decide if you want to deepen your trust or stop it all together.

"Time is a great healer; it heals everything," they say. If late Adetutu had waited, she would have gotten over her pain, because nothing in this world is permanent. The world is like a fast express train: everything will eventually become history.

They say, "Happiness is inside you," but our education system in Nigeria puts too much emphasis on material things and not enough on spiritual ones. It's about the outside of people instead of what makes them who they are. Students need to learn more than just the content of their classes. They also need to learn soft skills. Resilience, social skills, emotional skills, communication skills, self-control, and a whole host of other skills are in high demand in the 21st century.

Lastly, we should never try to solve a short-term problem with a long-term solution. We use our common sense to solve problems. And we have to be ready for the unexpected because life has ups and downs. We need to ask for God's help because the fear of God is the first step toward wisdom.

Credit: Adnan (Blueprint)